Our story started some time ago, and has grown and evolved in ways neither of us imagined. We’re excited about our journey, but to be honest, unknowns are scary! We’re learning to put our faith in God and trust Him with our future.
We met as members of the Louisiana State University Tiger Marching Band and dated for about four years before we were married. Our first two years of marriage were filled with law books, late night studying, and Bar prep (Colin got the degree, but Kendal feels like she studied enough to earn one, too!).
Once law school was complete and the Bar passed, we started focusing on saving for a house and dreaming about our future. Our dreams, of course, included kids. That’s what we wanted; the American Dream of a perfect little life in a nice house, with 2.5 kids, and dog. Well, maybe not half a kid, but you know what we mean.
We started thinking more seriously about those kids, but the thinking never turned into reality. For months we kept going on with life, believing it would happen when it was “supposed to happen.” But it started feeling like something was not quite right. Kendal went to the doctor for bloodwork and then was sent to a reproductive endocrinologist for further testing.
April 1, 2014 will forever be etched in our minds. We went to the doctor’s appointment together, and there were told that our chances of conceiving a child of our own were less than two percent. Specifically, Kendal was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure. It was the worst news we could imagine. We wanted so badly for it to be a joke. It was April Fool’s Day after all. Surely this was a cruel joke. It wasn’t. We left the office with heavy hearts and tears flowing.
More bloodwork revealed the same results. We carried on with our life, sidestepping the “when are you having a baby?” questions and “it’s in the water” comments. Often turning into a mess of emotions once the good intentioned questioner was gone. It was a long and lonely grieving process, and an even longer time until we were able to talk openly – even with each other – about what we were experiencing and how to move forward. We could have (and maybe should have) shared our hurt with others earlier, but if anyone knows us, we tend to hold things tight, especially such personal matters. This was something we had to tackle individually, and then together, before sharing with anyone else.
When we finally made it to the point where we could clearly think on the “what now,” we explored various options. We considered and researched fertility treatments (which would mean using a donor egg), embryo adoption, adoption of various ages and ethnicities, foster care, and even the idea of remaining childless. But ultimately, we knew that we are supposed to have a family, and determined that adoption is the right path for us.
So, we started researching how to go about starting that process. Y’all. Talk about intimidating. We had no idea where to start. We quickly realized that we were in over our heads, and really didn’t have anyone to whom to turn. But we learned about a group of adoption consultants, who walk through the adoption process with you, helping in every step of the way. We felt like this was a good fit for us, and decided to get started in June 2016.
While we didn’t always plan on adopting, we believe that God’s plan for our family is to grow it through adoption. It is not always easy, in fact, it’s the hardest thing we’ve ever been through, but we know it will be worth it in the end, when we hold our baby. When that time comes, we know that all of the tears, guilt, fear, pain, mounds of paper work, money, waiting, praying, and hoping will result in our biggest blessing. We look forward to that day and consider it joy to be on this journey.